she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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