the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
