i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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