is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
