I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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