David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
