i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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