i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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