Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
