You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
