bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
