she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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