Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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