It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
