I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
