why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
