You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
