We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
