So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
