Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
