Apparently you make a good broom.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
