Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
