she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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