I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
