Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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