i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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