pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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