Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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