Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
third nipple confirmed
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize