Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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