Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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