so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
