she was so not down for the gang bang
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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