I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
