i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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