I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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