Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
