I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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