Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
