my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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