its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
