I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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