I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
