Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
