I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
