There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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