Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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