if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
