Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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