let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
