I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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