Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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